VACANCY

Vacancy
Dir: Nimrod Antal, 2007
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0452702/
Reviewed by: Chase

Synopsis: Luke Wilson and Kate Beckinsale star as David and Amy Fox, a couple whose relationship is on the rocks. The end. Just kidding, there's more. For reasons too lame to include in this post, they take a detour down a dark mountain road on their drive home from seeing family. Naturally, their car breaks down and they must spend the night at a Norman Bates-approved hotel, where a fidgety man with glasses and a comb-over checks them into the Honeymoon Suite. For only $5 more!

Inside their room, David and Amy discover video tapes containing horrific footage of real murder scenes that took place in a room that looks surprisingly similar to their own. Wait! It is their hotel room! Oh noooo! David and Amy must outsmart the attackers, plan a getaway, and reconcile their marriage all within an 80-minute movie that probably should've been titled "The Grisly Death of Luke and Kate's Careers."

Review: Vacancy was directed by a man named Nimrod. Need I say more.

Okay, it's not thaaaat bad. It did have some redeeming qualities. The lighting and production design were quite impressive. And the opening credits were cool, but somewhat confusing; the score and the clever use of typography felt more like a slick espionage thriller than a gruesome tale of horror. Still, well done on the credits, Nimrod.

One of the most commendable things I can say about this film is it didn't rely on gore or shocking death scenes as scare tactics. The opening scene in the car also implemented some clever camera tricks using mirrors to give the first scene of painful character development a bit of uneasiness and dread.

There is an effectively claustrophobic scene that takes place in a dirt underground tunnel (don't ask), but that could be because I had panic attacks as a child just by being in a sleeping bag. Rats were also involved in the tunnel, and rats always bring their A-game in scary movies.

Oh, and the masks the "killers" wear are pretty disturbing. Another point for Nimrod!

Now onto the bad. Sorry, Luke "Chubby Face" Wilson but you could never marry someone as flawless as Kate Beckinsale. Suspension of belief only goes so far, brother. And the supposed "strain" on their relationship wasn't believable in the slightest. At one point, Amy finds a picture of her and a boy (their dead son, I presume) and wells up instantly, doing all she can give dimension to her character, to the movie.

I jumped maybe twice during the film, but let's face it-- I jump when someone pops a balloon at a carnival. I appreciate what the movie was trying to be, but it was simply too familiar. How many movies set in a creepy, isolated hotel are there anyway? I've seen at least twelve. One in particular comes to mind.

In the end, Vacancy had too many "Why didn't they just..." and "That would never really work..." moments to be taken seriously. Thin characters and cheap scares amounted in Vacancy leaving me feeling just that: vacant.

Rating: 5.5/10 stars (2 stars for the well-lit, well-designed sets, 1 star for the masks, 1/2 star for the rats, and another 2 stars for being only 80 minutes long.)
Scare Scale: Squirm a little, yawn a little